Okay, we’ll confess before we even begin: we have no connection to Sesame Street or any of the creations of Jim Henson. But you know what? If Oscar the Grouch were to check out our products, we reckon he’d recommend the following.
Hey there, Oscar here. Seeing how you’ve woken me up from my dreams of telling Big Bird to get a job, I suppose I’d better show you around a bit. *grumble*
First off, would you just look at this classic example of waste disposal engineering: a heavy-duty dustbin with clip-on lid. Oh yeah, that suits me right down to the ground. No happy-smiley colours to draw the attention of that crazy little Elmo, with his annoying dances that I swear will one day lead to a dislocated shoulder; just 85 litres for home, garden and stable use. Or, as in my case, eating thrown out banana peels and pizza crusts before sleeping all day long. Yep, I think I’ve found myself a new home.
Having said that, maybe it’s time I moved into something a bit classier. I may be a grouch, but I’ve still got street style… well, pavement style at least. And check out this beauty, a 36-litre waste bin with wood effect. It’s resistant against UV rays, which is great because I hate sunshine at the best of times, plus it has a lift-off top for when I need to pop my head out to shout at kids. Hmm, maybe it’s time I upgraded to the high life.
But wait, what’s this? A 200-litre self-extinguishing bin available in black and aluminium grey? Uhhhhh, it’s getting so hard to choose! This would be very handy if someone accidentally dropped in a lit cigarette whilst I’m sleeping, which seems to happen a lot more often since I started shouting abuse at passing smokers. No more scorched eyebrows would definitely be a bonus!
Hmm. The wire mesh full guard sack holder bin probably isn’t for me because I’m used to having thick walls around me. Then again, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live in a comfy sack instead of a hard bin – this is the best of both worlds, and the rubber lid keeps out the rain. Plus as well as black it’s also available in green, so if I used a green garbage sack as well I could totally blend in with my surroundings and scare pigeons. Awesome! I’ll put that down as a maybe.
Wait! Hold the phone! I’ve found it, the perfect bin for old Oscar. It’s a massive 360 litres, which is plenty of space for me and my collection of broken plates and soggy Heat magazines, and it even comes with an optional lock for when I’m feeling particularly grouchy. But you know what the best feature is? It has wheels! I’ve always wanted to own a mobile home, so this wheelie bin is the very thing for when I fancy a vacation to the city dump or neighbourhood compost heap. It’s available in blue, yellow, red and green, but obviously I’ll go for the lovely no-nonsense grey option. You can keep browsing if you like, but I’m going to place my order right away.
Thanks for reading my top five external bin recommendations. Now, if you don’t mind, GET OFF MY LAWN!